5 Books Every Couple Should Read
Relationships thrive on understanding, communication, and shared responsibility. Whether you're working through challenges or simply looking to deepen your connection, the right book can offer insight, tools, and validation. As a couples therapist, I often recommend the following five titles. Each one supports different aspects of a strong, emotionally connected partnership.
1. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
A foundational book for couples, Hold Me Tight draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help partners create stronger emotional bonds. Through seven core conversations, Johnson shows how to move from disconnection and conflict toward closeness and security. Her compassionate, research-backed approach makes this a powerful starting point for couples looking to feel safer and more connected.
“We are never so vulnerable as when we love.” – Dr. Sue Johnson
2. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Understanding your and your partner’s attachment styles can be a game changer. Attached breaks down the science of adult attachment into accessible, practical advice. For couples who feel stuck in repetitive patterns or find emotional needs clashing, this book offers clarity and strategies for more secure, compassionate relating.
3. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
Gottman’s principles are based on decades of research into what makes relationships succeed—or fail. This book offers simple yet transformative practices to help couples strengthen friendship, manage conflict, and build lasting intimacy. With exercises and self-assessments, it's great for both self-guided growth and supplementing therapy.
4. Socio-Emotional Relationship Workbook for Couples by Dr. Carmen Knudson-Martin & Dr. Anne Rankin Mahoney
This interactive workbook is based on Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy (SERT), a model that highlights mutual influence, shared vulnerability, shared relationship responsibility, and mutual attunement in relationships. Using the “Circle of Care” framework, the workbook guides couples through reflection exercises and dialogues that build openness, mutual influence, and empathy. It’s especially helpful for partners looking to rebalance emotional and relational labor.
5. Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Many couples struggle with the invisible workload of daily life—who plans, who remembers, who does. Fair Play offers a system for redistributing domestic and emotional labor with clarity and fairness. Rodsky’s game-inspired framework helps couples have honest conversations about expectations, values, and what “fair” really means. It’s funny, honest, and incredibly practical—especially for couples managing work, parenting, or caregiving together.
How to Use These Books as a Couple
Pick one that resonates with your current needs. Set aside weekly time to read together—or separately and then discuss. Many of the books include reflection questions or exercises, which can turn ordinary evenings into opportunities for connection and growth.
If you're in therapy, bring your thoughts to session. These books can amplify and support the work you're already doing.
Final Thoughts
Strong relationships are built through intention and effort. These five books offer a wealth of insight and tools to help you and your partner grow together.
And remember—sometimes a book can open the door, but having a supportive space to process it (like therapy) can help you go even deeper :)
Have you read any of these? I’d love to hear which ones resonated most or made a difference in your relationship.