What is EFT?

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy? A Guide to Understanding EFT

When relationships feel strained or filled with conflict, it can be hard to know how to find our way back to loving connection. Whether it’s with a partner or family member, feeling misunderstood can be incredibly painful. That’s where Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) comes in.

EFT is a type of therapy that focuses on emotions—not just what we’re feeling on the surface, but the deeper emotions that often drive how we relate to others. It's especially helpful in couples therapy, but it can also be used in individual or family work.

Why Emotions?

Emotions are at the heart of how we experience the world. They tell us what matters, what we need, and when something’s not right. But many of us haven’t been taught how to really listen to our emotions—let alone express them in a way that helps us feel closer to others. EFT helps people slow down and tune into these emotional experiences, often revealing the vulnerable feelings like fear, sadness, and hurt that get hidden beneath anger and resentment.

For example, a partner who seems distant or irritable might actually be feeling afraid of being rejected or not good enough. EFT helps people identify these deeper feelings and share them in a way that brings understanding and closeness.

What Happens in EFT?

EFT sessions are all about creating a safe space for you to explore the emotional patterns in your relationships—what triggers certain responses, what needs might be going unmet, and how you and your loved ones tend to react to one another.

Instead of getting stuck in the same arguments, EFT helps you build new patterns—ones rooted in emotional safety, vulnerability, and connection.

Does EFT Work?

Yes. EFT is backed by decades of research and has been shown to be one of the most effective and lasting forms of couples therapy. Many people report feeling not just better, but more deeply understood and connected than ever before.

Final Thoughts

At its core, Emotionally Focused Therapy is about healing through connection. It’s about turning toward each other with openness and compassion, even when that feels scary. Whether you’re navigating conflict, disconnection, or just want to deepen your relationship, EFT offers a path toward more secure and meaningful bonds.